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The 12 Best Masturbation Quotes

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In fact, tonight, backstage in her drab dressing room at the Paramount Theater in Seattle — a couple of ragged sofas, cinderblock walls, a watery veggie platter — you would hardly guess that she is a celebrity at all. Could we at least get her some decent-looking cauliflower? As a Black Eyed Peas song plays in the background, Ms. Handler drinks vodka on the rocks while doing her own makeup and hair. She holds up her BlackBerry to show the room — which includes her book agent, Michael Broussard; her brother Roy Handler; and her dog, Chunk — a funny picture of a cat that her friend Jenny McCarthy yes, that one has just sent her in an e-mail message. Everyone is consulted about whether her bra is showing too much and whether heels are funnier than flats. She flosses her teeth, smears on some deodorant and cleans a nostril with a Q-tip.

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The Playboy Interview With Chelsea Handler

From the first chapter, the reader knows they are in for a ride quite literally on the swing set in third grade if you are just discovering masturbation. She then works her way chronologically with another story about wanted a Cabbage Patch Kid…but more specifically one with brown hair, one dimple, green eyes…and under no circumstances is it to have red hair of course. In one chapter, we see an adult Chelsea Handler trying to convince her boyfriend at the time, Ted, to put a dolphin into their condo aquarium. Obviously, Ted rejects this preposterous idea although, having a dolphin aquarium in your home does sound pretty sweet. One of my personal favorite chapters involved a prank Chelsea was playing on Ted.
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Chelsea Chelsea Bang Bang

May 18, 1 comment. Chelsea is everything we want in a best friend: slutty, funny, bitchy, and vodka-loving. Not only a highly successful author, she is also a recognized comedian with her own show on E!
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Get ready for big laughs as Chelsea Handler lets loose with more comic personal essays. In this new, no-holds-barred account of life on the ridiculous side, Chelsea mines the wealth of material that is her family, her sex life, her. In this new, no-holds-barred account of life on the ridiculous side, Chelsea mines the wealth of material that is her family, her sex life, her career, and her distinctively outrageous worldview. Here is young Chelsea discovering "The Feeling" during a third-grade sleepover and getting shafted by clueless parents over Cabbage Patch dolls Through it all, Chelsea never lets anyone off the hook, even herself, as she delivers page after page of irreverent humor, biting wit, and deliciously off-kilter entertainment.
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Kitchen Masturbation By Stunning Brunette In Lingerie Chelsea French

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  • Comments:
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